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Post by Perfect Pseudonym on Sept 26, 2022 11:25:12 GMT
22/5/1980
And presented to us today is “Mike Read, Mike Read, Two Seven Five and Two Eight Five. Mike Read, Mike Read, National Radio One”. Right, ear worm planted. Anyway, he seems to be wearing a stripey suit jacket which Richard Whitely picked up from the charity shop a couple of years later, over a black shirt and white tie. Not entirely sure what he was going for there. He is still in his glassless phase and is looking somewhat tanned. From lying in the sun he tells us. Camera angle is not revealing any shorts as yet, so we can only hope.
Funky Town - Lipps Inc (chart run-down)
I’ll state it straight away. I love this track. Just a really good bit of minimalist disco, with an excellent one finger only synth riff, double octave synth bass line, vocoder vocal and nice sharp and clear female vocals. Add in the one finger only guitar chuck during the verse or chorus (I’m not entirely sure which bit of the song is which) and it’s a bit of summer time magic for lying in the sun to. Or sitting in a deckchair, not wearing it as Mike is doing.
D-a-a-ance - The Lambrettas
Or Dance, as Read would have it. After The Chords a couple of weeks or so ago, the Quadrophenia overspill continues on. This was the follow up to their cover of Poison Ivy, and presumably this time a self-penned ditty. I know that band names can be a bit difficult to source, especially if you need it to reasonably suggest your genre of operation, but come on The Lambrettas? That was definitely a Friday afternoon just before opening time band meeting.
They do look the part, although the peroxide blonde of the guitarist suggests that he did try to get it the same as Sting in Quadrophenia, but it just wouldn’t stick up. And just to make sure that they’re going for a 60s traditionalist vibe, the suited up mini-me Rick Buckler has his kit set up right at the front. And miming atrociously. Although it is a little bit Secret Affair B-side, it’s not too bad to be honest.
She’s Out Of My Life - Michael Jackson
Back to Mike who calls it Dance again, and it’s straight on to another Mike for some duplication time. Obviously the same video and green jumper/purple shirt combo as before. And therefore the same self-indulgent whining as before, so I’m done with this one now.
What I will say, is the last time I wrote about this that it came up on the car radio driving home after a painful split up. Not actually true, as it was just a joke to pad out the writing a bit. The actual honest truth is that it was the then current With Or Without You by U2. So apologies in advance for the three pages of angst when we get to 1987.
Teenage - UK Subs
Jacko does his last “l-ife” bit, the canned recorded elsewhere applause comes in and it’s back to Ready, who seems to be anything but ready (so pleased with that!), as while the fader is brought down on the applause he is furtively making sideways glances while awaiting his cue, and eventually gives the title as “Out of my life”, and said in a way that he is actually addressing that to Michael Jackson who has turned up at his front door.
Then it’s straight on to the fetid musk of oiks to stop it all going too clinical. I know very little about the Subs, and generally care very little for them either, so apologies to any Subheads who may be hanging around this forum. Probably smoking. I know that the lead singer is Charlie Harper but that’s about it.
However, having given this an airing (and by gad it needed one), I’m actually quite taken with it. It’s very much in Sham 69 territory (sorry again Subheads if I’m overstepping any lines), which is probably helped by Harper looking a little bit like the brother of Jimmy Pursey who got expelled in the third year. Old money third year obviously. What is it now? 14th or something? I don’t have kids!
And it’s a chorus that speaks to me. Teenage, I want to be teenage (albeit not nowadays). Extra marks to Harper for smuggling in a Sid Vicious flicking the V’s t-shirt. Obviously turned up at the Beeb wearing a jumper.
You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties - Jona Lewie
Whatever one might think of Read, he’s at least getting on with the job in hand instead of brandishing cardboard suns and inviting terrified female audience members to the canteen for a bit of snake. It’s a quick outro from the Subs and apart from a quick explanation that Jona’s been sent upstairs to the kitchen, he’s straight in introducing us to the next one.
And indeed it is a kitchen. As TOTP were want to do from time to time, they’ve got the BBC chippies in to mock up a nice set for Jona to parade around in. Well, the standing still version of parade anyway.
Seems a strange bit of sequencing following from UK Subs, as Jona does look a little like he might be Charlie Harper’s (and presumably Jimmy Pursey’s) slightly eccentric bookish paternal uncle.
Another song duplication from two weeks ago, although the kitchen set was still sitting in B&Q then. And no Kirsty MacColl this time. The taller brunette one is still the same I think, but a smaller sort of strawberry blonde girl has been drafted in and ends up actually playing the part of the pretty girl who dances with Jona in a new way. A sort of mannequin arms aloft dance, which was certainly new for 1980. She then fluffs up by starting to mime her bit a whole line before she was supposed to. Sadly it was just hanging round chip shops swearing she’s Kirsty MacColl for her after that.
I can’t tell if it was deliberate or not, but just after the Palmers Green line, the camera is pitched below the tap spout of the sink which then moves slowly towards us. I wonder this, because while the dance in a new way was happening, a tech with headphones seems to be playing about with the tap spout and looking somewhat quizzical about it.
The Eyes Have It - Karel Fialka
As the camera pans away from the best kitchen party ever not in Palmers Green, with Jona giving it some more mannequin and the fader on the applause never intended for Jona Lewie is brought up, there appears to be another hitherto unseen member of Jona’s band at the sink. Wearing a stripey jacket, oh hang on. Forget what I said earlier, Mike is doing a bit after all. Eliciting sympathy by bemoaning doing the washing up, he then intros the next item.
I was an avid daytime Radio 1 listener during half terms and whatever, and I remember this being played a lot. But it only got to about 50-odd or something. I was also somewhat confused by the rather manly voice of this Carol person.
Another strange bit of sequencing as aside from lack of kitchen and no not-Kirstys, this is pretty much in the same ballpark as the presentation of Jona’s performance. Stock still singer and some session musos with obvious mileage doing their bit behind. In fact, I think the drummer might be the same geezer as Jona’s. It’s also ploughing the same sort of for-1980-only sound of the future synth feel as Kitchen At Parties. But a bit punchier and nowhere near as charming or likeable.
As for Karel himself, well, Gareth Milne as if he’d come to perform straight from a bit of stunt doubling for Dennis Waterman in Minder, and wearing shades so nobody would notice. His shtick is to remain bolted static in front of the mic, punctuated occasionally by brief head turns, and then fully turned round to the band during the “ah” “oh” instrumental break, which reminded me of John Lydon’s performance with Public Image Ltd of “Careering” on The Old Grey Not Top Of The Pops.
During the chorus, a visual of a pair of male eyes (possibly Karel’s but I can’t tell because of the shades), and then female eyes (possibly Carol’s) are faded in alternate phase throughout the rest of the performance. However, it seems that Karel and the visual director did not have the same memo, as Karel’s dramatic teasing of bringing his shades down a little is overlaid with some more eye footage, and then towards the end the camera zooms in on his left lens just as he decided to do another head turn.
I bet he moaned on and on to Matthew about that later. (see 1987, eventually)
Rat Race - The Specials
Read, with the requisite quota of girls-back-then around him, outros from Karel, and no-nonsensely brings on the next act. Who aren’t actually there, but never mind. After the DLT leering of last week, Read chooses to completely ignore his posse, so the two furthest forward ones have to make their own entertainment. Girl right sticking her thumbs up to someone just towards her left, possibly Karel, and therefore could be one of the people responsible for it getting to 50-something, who then on hearing the drum intro to RR does a little joyous leap before getting down to some movements. Girl left, presumably neither a Karel Fialka or Specials kind of person, stays relatively still until blowing us a kiss just before we leave her, Read and co.
Yes, no Specials here, so they’ve kindly provided us a video. Basically they’re playing the song in a school hall, where an exam seems to be taking place at the same time. Hope the person responsible for the double booking got their a** kicked for that.
Terry and several other members (but not all) have donned glasses, presumably to denote intelligence (which I resent - I got one English O level and one maths CSE, which did a middling amount for me), while the occasional shots we get of Dammers are of him dressed up as a sort of middle-aged school music teacher at the piano. From time to time there’s a little overhead shot of a black and a white mouse negotiating a couple of small walls on a chess board (Two-Tone you see), and eventually we see that one of the exam participants is just writing down the song lyrics. Unless that was the course he was doing, he’s not going to get much joy when the results come through the door. In amongst those exam participants is a red haired red bearded chap, who let’s just say might have actually took his exams about 15 years previously. Alarm bells ringing.
This single lives within the transition period between the black and white ultra-ska Specials and the forthcoming lift-music woolly jumper and ultimately dissatisfied with the new direction Specials. Written by the guitarist Roddy Radiation and borrowing ever so slightly from the terrible Where Do You Go To My Lovely, I love it. Even if the lyrics might suggest a mean-spiritedness to those of us who didn’t have much choice but to go and do a drudgery type job in order to eat and have a roof (or a regular DIY-er in my case) above our heads. Although it may be more of a jibe at further educationalists who end up doing the same drudgery jobs, in which case, fair play.
I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles - The Cockney Rejects
While the Specials and exam participants (with the police arriving to get help with their enquiries from one of them) clear the hall in time for Madness in a few month’s time, it’s back to Read ignoring a fresh batch of lovely 1980 ladies but brandishing a football. Although it’s one of those orange light plastic ones with printed markings that you’d use on the beach. Which he probably did very recently. He then proceeds to toss it towards the next act, although not wearing his glasses it probably hit Karel Fialka instead. Cue Terry McCann style retaliation, in my dreams.
<Tired joke that everyone’s heard and is well out of date> Do you know what Michael Jackson’s favourite song is? </Tired joke that everyone’s heard and is well out of date>
So, Cockney Rejects, we meet again and so soon. Well, soon in terms of TOTP episode chronology. Several years ago in terms of this thread!
I was born, raised and continue to insist on living in a very much West Ham catchment area. Although pretty much all of my family and friends support them, I never have. I do like to watch a game of football, but I’ve never been fanatical about it, and can never hold a conversation that involves that subject. And supporting a team is one of the many commitments I’m scared of! But, obviously I’ll always root for the Hammers in any game they play, so I guess I was reasonably happy that they’d just won the FA Cup at this time.
It’s always an argued term what defines a Cockney. I’m not, because I’m out on the fringes of East Greater London not too long before you have to endanger yourself crossing the M25 into Essex. Although there are many footpaths and pavements under and over it you could use instead (Public Information bit). The Rejects are described as being from the East End of London. Which also doesn’t necessarily make them Cockneys, but they’ve at least got a better claim to it than I. And a whole lot more claim to it than some other so-called Cockneys who don’t even support West Ham (cough) Hodges & Peacock (cough). So, it was a given that they’d be straight on this rendition of the traditional American-origined WHU anthem once the ref blew the final whistle. Although they probably had already recorded and released it just after the semi-finals to be fair.
And as you’d expect it’s a joyous performance from Stinky Turner, in the then well remembered home shirt of four claret stripes in a long shallow V, above a solid claret area, and the other band members in the white away shirts (band hierarchy in place?). Obviously the stage crew have indulged them with some bubbles, which presumably presents a much less elf and safey risk than buckets of water. Although clearly a mimed performance (any doubts answered towards the end!), the guitar solo is still a ramshackle out of tune mess, which therefore endears it to me so much more.
Certainly more endearing than if they turned up on an otherwise empty District Line carriage that I’d be on, as I described on their last TOTP performance. Which was only two weeks ago, and this track wasn’t even the B-side of that one!
We Are Glass - Gary Numan
Straight on to the next one with an unseen Read (probably still with a steak over the bruise that Karel Fialka gave him) giving us some trivia on the history of I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles and introducing us to Gazza.
It’s the video, and it’s basically what you’d think of if you were to imagine a Gary Numan video. Lots of dry ice, double video effects, tubular steel frame things, and obviously due to the theme, a lot of glass and mirrors. Some of which invariably gets smashed or has Gary jumping through it.
By now, Numan has already entered into his forgotten hits phase, so at this moment he is technically a 70s star, as only Are Friends Electric, sorry Are ‘Friends’ Electric and Cars continue to remain the ones that everybody remembers, even though the former wasn’t actually under his name in the first place! And in a way, pretty much all his subsequent hits, even though in the main they are hits, from then on until this present day still remain vaguely forgotten about to the public at large. Although its connection with Alan Partridge did allow Music For Chameleons to get its light out from under its bushel.
But I remember them, Gary, even though I’ve never been a Numanoid. And I remember this one well. Hadn’t heard it for a long time until this watching exercise, and if anything has grown in estimation from before. Just a really immaculately put together track, especially when the third verse comes chugging in when you’d thought that the track may have been gradually coming down to a close. Which is presumably what the director thought as the play button on the applause is pressed during it.
Police And Thieves - Junior Murvin
Back to Read, again searching around for his cue at first, who gives us a bit more trivia, this time on Numan being voted the best male singer in the Rock And Pop Awards (of 1979 of course - treasure it Gary!) and turns to his left to direct us over to Junior Murvin on stage, and managing to avoid showing us the squint he’s doing to make sure it is Junior and not a stage hand he’s looking at.
This track is totally beyond any sneering ooh he thinks he’s so funny reviewing, as it’s just a sublime piece of gentle but earnest in a good way reggae. So I’m buggered really.
It has to be said thought that his stage craft is a little, interesting. Although he is generally stepping in time to the rhythm, there are several occurrences of him putting some rather off-time jerky moves, especially during the chorus end bits where he goes “hey he-he-he-he-he-he hey”. However he does do a rather well-executed drop to the floor and switching legs halfway through which made my own bones creak a little bit just watching. But it’s that weirdness that makes it a much more riveting watch than just him going through the motions, even though the quality of the song shouldn’t make that an issue. Whether it was nerves on his part or if it was his schtick on purpose, I don’t know. But bloody good stuff whichever it was.
And thankfully it’s the Lee Perry produced record version. No TOTP Orchestra vs Althia & Donna style sabotage on this one!
Let’s Go Round Again - Average White Band
Back to Read surrounded by some more of the 1980 Saturday High Street with one very much pitching herself as the alpha female of that high street by virtue of very shiny leather (or leather-esque) blue trousers, tropical scenes shirt and long crimped hair. However although she has managed to get herself forefront, it means she isn’t the one who gets to put her arm inside Mike’s, which I don’t think was a pre-arranged idea as he seems to be a bit uncomfortable about it and eventually releases her arm by raising his with a slightly guarded but painted up to be part of the fun “what are you doing?”. This is not DLT, girls. As we move to the visual of AWB, Read does then ask the girls if they fancy going round again. Maybe there is a bit of DLT there.
So it’s to the oft-described Scottish funksters. Although Scottish in terms of basically being honed and musically educated in the US of A. It’s an in-studio appearance by the band this time, Legs & Co having something far more safer to dance to this week.
And obviously, in contrast to the youth and vitality of The Lambrettas, Cockney Rejects and, er, Charlie Harper, we’ve got some grizzled experience miming away on that stage. The lead singer, basically Stanley Meadows if he’d been cast as Alan Ember in Feet Of Clay instead of Joss Ackland, is having a grand old time lip-synching to his vocals, even re-enacting the obvious strain on his voice during the recording session. But the rest of the band insisted it had to be in that key, so we will have no more about it.
I do quite like this as a feel-good party music type thing. But it does seem that it basically sneaked into 1980 having hidden in a shed throughout 1979. And although it is instantly recognisable and so very well-known, I have no actual memory of this being a hit at the time. I can remember a Karel Fialka top 50-something hit clear as day, but not this. Nurse, the screens.
Suicide Is Painless - The Mash (most sources including the TOTP chart include the The, so I will)
AWB are more victims of the Ryanair-esque pack ‘em in philosophy as once again the applause that probably was from 1978 comes in during the brass break which would normally still have more to come. So much more those guys could have given on the stage that they actually bothered to turn up on. No respect. Anyway, back to a solo Mike who informs us that every now and then a TV theme will get in to the charts, and this is what’s happened now.
He’s sort of right that this is a TV theme, as an instrumental version of this was used (and still being used at the time) for the long-running American TV sitcom M*A*S*H about the wacky exploits of the staff of the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital in the Korean War. Which sometimes had a laugh track, and sometimes didn’t. Always got a bit confused by that.
But the TV series was born out of the original 1970 film, which was sort of the Regan to the TV series’s The Sweeney, although most of the characters were recast between the two, apart from (IIRC) Radar. And it’s the theme to the film that is in the charts, with actual singing and words and that. And thanks to Nightfly who pointed out that the lyrics to this somewhat dark piece were written by director Robert Altman’s 15 year old son. I don’t think my 15 year old self would have chosen to hang around with him to be honest. I have seen the film once many years ago, but it was not the quickfire barrel of laughs the series was, and I missed Alan Alda.
I do remember this being out as a single at the time, and even getting to number one ultimately (spoiler), and I have absolutely no idea why. It was 10 years since the film, but seems a bit of an underwhelming thing to celebrate an anniversary. I suspect that it may have been down to Noel Edmonds, as most obscure things that became an event seemed to be down to him back in the day, but I have no realistic clue otherwise.
I suppose I’d better talk about Legs & co, who were obviously notified that they were going to do this on a piece of paper given to them by an immediately exiting Flick Colby. Back to full strength sextet as Lulu has returned, and wishing she hadn’t. But with the time and the meagre material they had been given, they do their best to make something of it. Operating to a backdrop of cardboard hillocks and the odd bare tree with the dry ice machine set to constant medium, they just wander and sway about a bit, and then fall to the floor during the chorus, which is a little bit uncomfortable. But might have given Junior Murvin an idea if he’d managed to catch the rehearsal.
For reasons as spoilered above, we will be seeing this again very soon, so I’ll try and think up some different things next time.
Midnight Dynamos - Matchbox
It’s full on duplication time from two weeks ago. The same studio performance, and the same mixed in film footage of them jumping into and then driving around the Worlds End area of the Kings Road in a Yank tank.
After the last item, this does seem to provide a bit of an upper, especially as it’s all going to go down again very soon. As I said before, this one does appeal to me a bit even if I’m not generally into rockabilly and the concept of provincial English men trying so hard to be the Americans they aren’t.
As was always associated with Matchbox, the Confederate flag is on (albeit lying down) display in the studio, and also vinyl wrapped around all the of the drum pads. I know that these days it is seen as something of a problematic symbol, but I’m pretty sure back then most of us Brits would have just assumed it was a flag for America’s south and a visual version of “yee hah” in the same way that Cornwall has its own flag. It was on Dukes of Hazzard after all. The jury remains out as to whether that it was just all it was to these West Londoners as well, or if they had a sinister behind closed doors aspect to their ideology. I like to think that it was the former, because they just seemed like harmless old duffers having a bit of a good time, and I really do like this track.
And they must be alright, because the Specials obviously saw the film footage for this and decided to recreate it for the Ghost Town video.
What’s Another Year - Johnny Logan
So it’s back to Read, with a bit of equality going on behind him, as it’s girls and boys. However unlike the two 50% reluctant to be couples that were with DLT, the couplings are the two girls and the two boys. Very progressive stuff for 1980. I remember the lads from earlier as they had been front stage when the Rejects were on, and then as now, the flossy blonde bloke who looks a bit like Mick Talbot if he’d been outside the music room window smoking a fag instead of in it learning his craft, is loving the presence of the camera. Even giving it a We Are The Champions double thumbs aloft as Mike speaks. In fact the virtually matching red shirts of him and his far more steely and detached looking companion do have the look of them being team contestants on that very show. The two girls are just giggling as if they’d just stuck a “kick me” post-it note on Mike’s back.
And, he-e-e-ere’s Johnny. Again.
Still at the top position, it’s a repeat of the performance two weeks ago when he had yet to taste the trappings of being number one. And that massive cake. Presumably sleeping it off, hence not here this time. So, it’s the same old zoom out from the saxophone, played by the same old saxophonist, and the same old Johnny emerging from the shadows to emote it all once again.
Not much more to be said really. It’s definitely not a grower this one.
Let’s Get Serious - Jermaine Jackson (credits)
Mike, with a whole gaggle of post-it note armed suburban lovelies, tells us that Kid Jensen will be doing the honours next week. Poor old David is going to have to stamp his feet a bit more until his colleagues stop calling him Kid. And leads us into the swirling visuals of the studio lights with this tune.
This is the slightly unusual scenario where a member of a top selling band who wishes to leave and go solo, is not the one you’d think would do so. Although “wishes” is probably not quite the right word in this context.
Obviously this is one of the many older brothers (4 in total I believe - thanks maths CSE) of young Michael who had all made up the membership of Motown’s prized The Jackson 5. And then because of contract issues and whatnot, their father, Joe (when he wasn’t releasing his own spiky new wave records) decided to up sticks from Berry Gordy’s clutches and deposit them with Epic records. However, this was all a bit awkward for Jermaine as he had in the meantime got married to Gordy’s daughter. So as the remaining four along with their even younger brother Randy sped off down the freeway to Philidelphia leaving behind the space and 5 and adding an s to their name, Jermaine had to watch out the window while he was doing the washing up before getting round to putting that shelf up.
No matter, there were plans for him at the Motown stable, and this is just such an example of these plans. And while his brother bored the a** off me earlier, he’s very much making good with this. It’s not a masterpiece by any means, but does have a bit of life to it. And I always like a track which leads from the first verse straight into the second thus teasing the chorus for later. Even if when it does eventually come, the chorus ends up just a little underwhelming.
But a good play out for the end of the episode. Now, Jermaine, did you remember where you kept the rawlplugs?
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Post by Dirty Epic on Sept 26, 2022 20:04:33 GMT
Good write up/review PP, got to admit Gary Numan and and odd one aside not much that I'd go for there but it's horses for courses and it's not really my era to be fair. As you said 1980 is a bit weird a bit out with the old in with the new year. I've got to get back to reviewing the 90's probably more as a write up of the years as a whole rather than the episodes, although I know there's not much interest in them here and they do resemble a sanitised version of Dance Energy/ Snub TV during 1990-94 with a bit of pop crap thrown in too. Overall there's good, bad and ugly in all era's of TOTP.
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Post by D.C. Burtonshaw on Sept 27, 2022 18:24:10 GMT
That's quite a review PP - and thanks for the time compiling it! Very interesting to read through.
I remember Jonny Logan' What's another year being played a fair bit by Terry Wogan, at that time.
Don't mind a bit of Gary Numan, and Rat Race by the Specials is familiar to me of course and Junior Murvin's mellow original of Police and Thieves.
I know a lot of those artists listed but will have to have a listen of the particular songs, as I don't think they're familiar to me, unlike as you say some of the artists more well known tracks.
Yeah, nice one!
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