Sparky
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Post by Sparky on Oct 7, 2021 10:38:50 GMT
Yeah, they are dreadful. They all seem to be shot in some quaint snowy town in Canada and each story is identical to the last. I don't think the British Christmas films are much better, although Love Actually is the one I use to check which Hugh Grant film is showing because I can never tell them apart. He seems to play the same character in all of them ie: Politician who lives in leafy North London who is a love cheat, Author who lives in leafy North London who is a love cheat, Heir to a million pound empire from leafy North London who is a love cheat... etc. When they show Love Actually I can actually recognise which film it is....but that's only because Bill Nighy makes an appearance. They aren't - but being British made to me they never seem as sickly/quaint as the US versions. We always seem to turn them into comedy films. Also - they never really look the same either. That (I think) is what sets anything we make apart from the rest - including a majority of cinema released stuff (where the US doesn't have any influence over it).
The closest to a good Christmas Film - for me, was "Santa Claus the Movie"; not seen it for many years; though saw it when it first came out in 1986 or 1987. Looked great on the big screen too.
Apart from a little bit shot in the US, everything else was made here in the UK.
On TV, the Channel 4 adaptation of "The Snowman" from the Raymond Briggs book I'm quite fond of; a bit twee, but it always conjours up memories of being trapped inside in front of the TV during bad weather.
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Nightfly
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Post by Nightfly on Oct 7, 2021 11:00:12 GMT
They aren't - but being British made to me they never seem as sickly/quaint as the US versions. We always seem to turn them into comedy films. Also - they never really look the same either. That (I think) is what sets anything we make apart from the rest - including a majority of cinema released stuff (where the US doesn't have any influence over it). On TV, the Channel 4 adaptation of "The Snowman" from the Raymond Briggs book I'm quite fond of; a bit twee, but it always conjours up memories of being trapped inside in front of the TV during bad weather. Spot on with The Snowman, Sparky . It's probably the only Xmas one I don't mind. I always refer to the sickly US stuff as "Gee Mom" films, as that line always surfaces at some point as a freckled kid hugs a dog/cuddly toy etc. Also, not a great fan of the insistence of putting a US Hollywood name in a British film just so it can sell to America. Josh Hartnett in the Yorkshire comedy Blow Dry with his weird combination of a Yorkshire, Geordie and Southern accent that really jars. Similar thing with The Crying Game, although I love the film. I just wonder what was going through the casting director's mind. Now, who shall we get to play the Cockney soldier who is kidnapped by the IRA. Ray Burdis ?...nah..."Ray Winstone?...nah...Phil Daniels ? ....nah...wait a minute, I've got it... Forest Whittaker ! (To be fair, I thought Forest did do a good job).
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Sparky
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Post by Sparky on Oct 7, 2021 16:45:17 GMT
They aren't - but being British made to me they never seem as sickly/quaint as the US versions. We always seem to turn them into comedy films. Also - they never really look the same either. That (I think) is what sets anything we make apart from the rest - including a majority of cinema released stuff (where the US doesn't have any influence over it). On TV, the Channel 4 adaptation of "The Snowman" from the Raymond Briggs book I'm quite fond of; a bit twee, but it always conjours up memories of being trapped inside in front of the TV during bad weather. Similar thing with The Crying Game, although I love the film. I just wonder what was going through the casting director's mind. Now, who shall we get to play the Cockney soldier who is kidnapped by the IRA. Ray Burdis ?...nah..."Ray Winstone?...nah...Phil Daniels ? ....nah...wait a minute, I've got it... Forest Whittaker ! (To be fair, I thought Forest did do a good job). Not christmas films - but when it comes to what the hell were they thinking...
There's US remake of "Get Carter" and the shower of sh*t that was masquerading as "The Italian Job".... come to mind.
The "Gee Mom" film should be an officially recognised Film Genre; a typical template would be "Middle Class American Family, comfortably well off, large house, large family, younger kids more street wise than the parents, goofy cop/villian, a pet with more sense than everyone else, constant supply of snow - and everyone being able to go about their business. A Scrooge type character who learns his (or her) ways shortly before the last scene, christmas lights in every shot"
If 4:3Tv made an Xmas Film, it could look something like this...
Interior of Bank - Daytime. Two men dressed in Santa suits enter, one fires a shotgun at the ceiling, the other tells the cashiers to fill up Santa's sack with the loot.
Cut to: Pub Day time. Gene Hunt, Sam Tyler, Jack Regan & George Carter line up Malt Whiskeys & Brandys on the bar as they have an Xmas drink while comparing notes about Aussie Fraudsters and Football Hooligans.
The Landlord takes a phone call asking for Jack or Gene...
Cut to: High Street - Daytime. Two Santas race through the shoppers, shotgun in hand, sack containing loot over each shoulder and dash up a side street.
Cut to: Side Street - Daytime The two Santa's grind to a halt in horror. The voice of Gene Hunt booms down the alleyway "Drop the shooter, you're surrounded by Armed b****rds". From behind a bin, Jack Regan raises his head and asks "What presents you got us son?"
Or something to that effect...
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Cartman
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Post by Cartman on Oct 7, 2021 17:24:23 GMT
Now that, Sparky, I would watch!
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Nightfly
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Post by Nightfly on Oct 7, 2021 21:41:36 GMT
If 4:3Tv made an Xmas Film, it could look something like this...
Cut to: Pub Day time.
Gene Hunt, Sam Tyler, Jack Regan & George Carter line up Malt Whiskeys & Brandys on the bar as they have an Xmas drink while comparing notes about Aussie Fraudsters and Football Hooligans. Perfect, but if I may put a script editors hat on, could I add the following?:- Cut to: Wide shot of the bar. A well dressed tall thin man with a cool aura slides into a gap between George and Jack and clicks his fingers at the bar man. MYSTERY MAN: "Pint of bitter.....in a thin glass" Phone rings BARMAN:- "Is there a Mr Carter in the room? GEORGE & MYSTERY MAN:- "Yes !" The pub is silent as the five men turn around and simultaneously realise that the old guy extra at the bar has an extra finger.
GENE:- "Blimey. We must be in Keighley"
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Post by Gene Hunt on Oct 7, 2021 21:45:59 GMT
Can't fault yer fellas. I'd pay to watch it myself! Perhaps we should have a fanfic section Gene.
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Sparky
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Post by Sparky on Oct 8, 2021 5:58:16 GMT
Perfect, but if I may put a script editors hat on, could I add the following?:- Cut to: Wide shot of the bar. A well dressed tall thin man with a cool aura slides into a gap between George and Jack and clicks his fingers at the bar man. MYSTERY MAN: "Pint of bitter.....in a thin glass" Phone rings BARMAN:- "Is there a Mr Carter in the room? GEORGE & MYSTERY MAN:- "Yes !" The pub is silent as the five men turn around and simultaneously realise that the old guy extra at the bar has an extra finger.
GENE:- "Blimey. We must be in Keighley" Priceless!
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Cartman
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Post by Cartman on Dec 5, 2021 13:46:22 GMT
I've just been looking through the Christmas TV listings for this year and wish I hadn't bothered. Call the Midwife, Mrs Brown's boys, Eastenders, Coronation street, a repeat of the Two Ronnies.
It used to be so good at one time..
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Nightfly
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Post by Nightfly on Dec 5, 2021 14:06:23 GMT
I've just been looking through the Christmas TV listings for this year and wish I hadn't bothered. Call the Midwife, Mrs Brown's boys, Eastenders, Coronation street, a repeat of the Two Ronnies. It used to be so good at one time.. I'm trying to remember the last year when I got excited about the Christmas schedules. I don't think it was that long ago....Ah just remembered...it was 1977.
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Cartman
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Post by Cartman on Dec 5, 2021 14:13:02 GMT
Probably same here, used to look forward to it when I was at school in the 70s
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