Post by Perfect Pseudonym on Oct 24, 2022 11:35:06 GMT
14/08/1980
So this is the tricky one. For the first time Iâm going head to head with the Chart Music podcast as they covered this show in their episode 5 (âWatch Yer Backsâ). So, Iâm going to have to do my best to not nick any rye observations that they have made, and avoid quoting them (even with full credit) as I want to try and put my own spin on things. There will be some observations that we share, but thatâs going to be unavoidable and it will have to be accepted that I will have thought some same things independently as if the podcast never existed. Iâm all about the honesty.
Before I get going, I do want to take the opportunity to get one reference of theirs out of the way which I did enjoy, and then itâs all my own work after that. When they were talking about Mike Berry, Taylor made the observation that he looked like one of CI5 that wasnât Bodie or Doyle. And Al then chipped in that he would be the one who died that episode, having earlier had a brief conversation with B & D about wanting to get out of CI5 and then getting taken out by a Greek terrorist. I like the sort of amalgam of Steve Alder, Peter Blake in âEverest Was Also Conqueredâ and Philip Martin Brown in âNo Stoneâ that that discussion suggested! Right, Chart Music, I canât hear you (fingers in ears going âla la la laâ).
So introducing us to the proceedings is Tommy Vance, in a grey sweatshirt with a sort of loosely splashed on red and yellow stripe effect, and as the camera zooms out, we then encounter the am side of the pro-am presenting double act. Leather jacketed Roger Daltrey. Or as Vance calls him, the McVicar himself. I donât actually know what that makes John McVicar, but presumably when it comes to being a McVicar heâs obviously a poor second to Daltrey. Vance points out that McVicar is looking a bit miserable, and the reasoning behind this is that he has come all the way to see the Clash and theyâre not on. By way of consolation, Vance then takes us through who we do have on tonight. So, to the backing of Whole Lotta LoveâŠ
Abba - the four of them pre-Agnetha heartbreak walking around a harbour looking smiley
David Bowie - Pierrot under a dark black sky (bit like the one outside as Iâm typing this!)
ELO - a clip of the L&Co routine a little later, dancing to âall ofâ ELOâs music according to Vance - thatâs going to be a long routine
Mike Berry - clip of the later studio performance
Grace Jones - not the TOTP clip we see later, but a somewhat more animated Grace done up like a tiger and jigging about in front of a roller shutter door
Village People - clip of the stage show weâll see later. âAs usual, canât stop the musicâ says Vance - I think we know his leanings when it comes to popular music
Sue Wilkinson - clip of the later studio performance
Sleepwalk - Ultravox
Vance introduces us to a band that a lot of people thought had finished as their lead singer had left. And their guitarist, Tommy. But having got a clever Scottish lad in by the name of Midge Ure, theyâre back and in the charts. So already up on the deal compared to the previous incarnation.
When this started getting radio play in the summer of 1980, I had absolutely no idea who this Ultrabox was (I canât decide if that was DJâs intonation or dodgy radio), so if Iâd paid attention to what Tommy was saying at the intro, it would have meant nothing to me (pun not intended originally, but sod it, letâs intend it). I had already become aware of John Foxx due to Underpass earlier this year, which I did like a lot, but just thought he was a bit of an embarrassing Numan wannabe. Little did I know then that it was him who was the inspiration for Numan in the first place. And I certainly had no idea that this seemingly new band was where heâd started. Well, Tiger Lily if weâre going to be pedantic, but it was the same band who became Ultravox! (their exclamation mark, not mine, later nicked by Wham). And I had no idea that the lead singer on this was the singer in the 70s Bay City Rollers stunt doubles, Slik, that I vaguely remembered from 70s TOTPs. Nor that I would have already seen one of the keyboard players in Gary Numanâs band the year before. I mean itâs just such a rabbit hole the whole Numan/Foxx/Ure/Ultravox ism and schism can take you down, itâll take me longer to get through then Legs & Co dancing to the entire back catalogue of ELO, so Iâll stop there.
It is tempting to suggest that visually this is very much a first indication that a new more futurist decade is upon us, as we have three of the four piece band on synths, plus a drummer. However, weâd already seen this very formation in 1977 when Space did Magic Fly. Only difference was that it was an instrumental and they were all wearing space helmets. And none of them sporting an undone green bow tie. Obviously the main focus is on Midge, but Billy Currie very much doing his best to inject a bit of Liquid Gold drummer pizzazz into the proceedings by giving his ARP Odyssey a damn good bumping and grinding seeing to. Unfortunately for him, his most elaborate showmanship coincides with an overlay of Warren Cann on the drums. Visible in the background throughout is Daltrey, looking like he might have initially decided this was c**p before remembering that the Who did use synths a lot as well and just taps his feet to it.
This was the lead single off the first Midge-era album Vienna. Iâm a big fan of Ultravox and I think the albumâs great, but for me this has always been one of the weakest tracks on it. I suppose itâs probably one of the most single-like of the albumâs listing (yes even more than the title track) hence its release, but Iâve generally found it a little unexciting. The follow-up, Passing Strangers, was probably even more single-like but didnât do anywhere enough to make the TOTP cut (they werenât Lena Zavaroni) and we wouldnât see them again until early 81 when they released their difficult third single from the album.
Ashes To Ashes - David Bowie
âNot a guitar in sightâ says an obviously disapproving Vance who outros âMidge Ureâ, before remembering that there is a band heâs in now. Poor old Currie, Cross and Cann, always the backing band, never the shared limelight. He then turns to Daltrey to conduct a mini-interview on the Whoâs recent US tour which is possibly more of a through the hands watch than Mike Martin doing his âtonight Matthew, Iâm going to beâ stint as Leo Sayer. I donât know if Daltrey is generally a terrible interviewee or if he really had naively turned up just to see the Clash, because his committal to it couldnât be more non. Vance then asks a question that heâs always wanted to ask Daltrey. Yes, as soon as the Who pitched up with I Canât Explain (a seemingly apt title for Daltreyâs approach to interviews), the young(er) Thomas Vance made it his lifeâs ambition to corner the vocalist and get his handle on who his favourite singer is. Daltreyâs response was that it would be easier to name the singers he doesnât like. This list is not given, but I reckon the low volume backing accompaniment of George Benson throughout this slot might give us a clue to whoâd be on it. Of course itâs all a set-up to bring on the next item. One of the guvânors according to Rog.
Iâm sure we all remember this video. David Bowie in Pierrot doll get-up on a pink beach with black sky, alternating with David Bowie in his civvies sitting in a padded cell, although given the luxury of a chair and not in a strait jacket. Whether he ended up writing âKill Numanâ many times on the padded walls while twitching and laughing manically at the camera is a secret only for the cutting room floor. Thereâs also a brief bit of him in an exploding kitchen. No Jona Lewie though.
There is a reasonably strong case to be made that this video was the starting point for 1981 and beyond. Not only is Bowieâs clown attire very much the same nonsense that happening people would be wearing on their nights out, but one of the four characters (and bulldozer) following him around on that beach was one Steve Strange. The story of how he got to be in the video is an oft repeated one, and will be told in a New Romantic documentary probably starting on Sky Arts in about 10 minutes time. It will usually have Boy George bitching on about it as well.
Itâs going to be at number one for a couple of weeks, so Iâll wrag on more about the video and the song itself the next time.
All Over The World - Electric Light Orchestra
Say what you like about Roger Daltrey, but he does go the slightly extra mile to what Elton did last week, by actually doing a bit of solo presenting. But Elton would more than likely had not suggested that the bleep machine go to work on what he thought of Legs & Co. Bless Rog, he is just so testosterone. I wonder if Eltonâs on his list.
So, yes indeed here are the Legs and looking absolutely bleep, with Rosie in particular looking especially bleepable. Theyâre basically positioned on separate podiums semi-circling a model of the world, which may or may not be the same one dragged out of storage several months later for Duran Duranâs debut appearance with Planet Earth. Theyâre all dressed in costumes appropriating to countries (and landmarks) of the world. So from what I can deduce, Sueâs a sort of Bavarian cowgirl, Pattiâs done up as an Oriental with chopsticks in her hair, Gillâs Auntie Sam, Pauline is either Hawaiian or Polynesian or something, Lulu, like her namesake, is Scottish and Iâve no idea what Rosie is supposed to be. Sexy Statue of Liberty I think. Anyway, theyâre doing an excellent job of keeping within their podiums as there is a bit of a drop should it go wrong. That Flick can be an evil taskmistress sometimes.
After their hook up with Liv to make the longest named duo in the world (or indeed all over it), theyâre back to going their own way and a much better track than the number one as far as Iâm concerned. Also from the Xanadu film, but having never seen it, Iâve no idea at what stage it appears or what it is soundtracking. But a great song and with a really good chord progression during the chorus which just lifts it. It does get a bit Dancing In The Street with the list of place names towards the end, none of which are probably referenced by L&Coâs costumes.
Sunshine Of Your Smile - Mike Berry
As Rog has presumably sloped off to the L&Co dressing room minus any bleep machine, Tommy takes the mic for this one and introduces us to this 1913 song. Mike looks pretty good on it I must say.
And on the stage here is. He looks like heâd be one of CI5 who isnât Bodie or
Apologies.
Actually who he does remind me a little of is mid-70s came and went singer Berni Flint. But without the moustache. I remember this very well, as my mum had to convince me this was the same bloke who played the dad in Worzel Gummidge as he looked absolutely nothing like this smooth operator charming the grannies. Unfortunately, apart from the more fruity words that footballers may utter, I have no power of lip reading so I cannot work out what Mike mouths to someone in the audience after he has finished the fourth line. Hopefully not along the lines of what Roger said just prior to being slapped by Gill.
I believe Mike did have a sort of early â60s pop career until he went into acting, and I presume partly on the strength of his role in Worzel he decided to get himself back in the recording studio. With Chas Hodges on production I think, and unless Mikeâs double tracked, I wouldnât be surprised if itâs Chas himself on the backing vox.
I donât really know what to think of this one. Itâs quite a pleasant little song and Mike sings it well, but is there really a place for it in the charts and on TOTP at this time? Well, maybe. Thereâs always going to be bilge of some sort as we go, however great I may think this coming era is, and it might as well be something like this that isnât absolutely terrible and doesnât overstay its welcome to any great degree. Itâs not the Goombay Dance Band after all.
I do know one thing though. The TOTP Orchestra would have been all over this if they hadnât been binned.
So itâs back to Tommy, who seems to be spending his entire on-camera time sitting, and heâs with some equally seated kids, who all look like theyâre waiting for the boom mic to come over on Junior Question Time. Having established that the girl he is sitting next to is from Glasgow (presumably not a lucky guess) he then explains to her how arrow directions work, as itâs going to be a great help with the charts which are coming next. The run-down is actually from 30 to 11 instead of 21 this week, which is bad news for Tommy as although he might smugly know how arrows work, he canât actually get his head round timing the entry listings to match the pictures, or even say some of them correctly. At the end of his ordeal, Tommy hands us over to camera 3 and Roger.
Private Life - Grace Jones
âHe does go on!â says Rog. Not sure if referring to Vance, Pete Townshend at the last recording session or the Legs & Co minder. As heâs not a professional TOTP presenter, he can be forgiven for his somewhat stilted intro to the next item, as the donut who thought up the idea of guest presenters canât be. And sadly doesnât swing his mic as he looked very much like he would do.
But there may be good reason for Daltreyâs stammering. Because even a fully bleep machined approach to Grace is never going to be up there as a particularly great idea. She is one intimidating lady. I suppose this appearance could also be considered as the dawning of the new age. Black female singers had always been relatively smiley, with nice feminine attire and flowing or curly locks. Until now, theyâd never stood motionless in black with a shaved sides flat top and a never smoked fag on the go tucked behind.
I must have seen this episode at the time, because I remember well this debut appearance of Grace who Iâd never been aware of previously. But I had previously been aware of the Pretenders original as despite only being an album track did get the odd airplay. For the purposes of this, I did give it a listen again and was surprised how much like the Jones cover it actually was, aside from an additional overlaid vocal line in the chorus and a more singing-like version of the somewhat awkwardly scanned verses.
So in the great Hynde vs Jones debate that has probably been raging, somewhere, I am going to have to stay on the fence as I love both versions of this song. Iâm hoping that neither lady will actually push me off it, as I imagine it wonât be a playful shove.
Canât Stop The Music - Village People
Itâs back to Tommy and, er, Tommy (deaf, dumb, blind and totally heterosexual) who are both sitting and Vance describes Grace as cool as both poles on our planet and then appropriately goes into frozen mode as he tries to finish his spiel. Meanwhile Daltrey thousand yard stares towards the distance before stating that Jones is a âbad ladyâ. I suspect that Rog has decided he might have a challenge lined up. However whatever erotic thoughts he might have been harbouring are wiped away as soon as Vance asks him if he likes disco. Elton last week said he tried to kill it, Rog looks like he wants to maim, torture and starve it before the execution. Vance says itâs a shame because here come the Village People, to which Rog then utters his now immortal line which presumably has always been missed out on the BBC4 repeats: âDonât bend down for the soapâ. Or was that a line in McVicar?
Anyway, this nostalgic âdifferent timesâ intro leads us into footage of the Villagers strutting about on an NTSC-soaked stage. Iâm guessing itâs from the film of the same name, and as Iâve seen the film as much as I have Xanadu then it will have to remain a guess. So on the stage in front of a large neon VILLAGE PEOPLE sign and some laser type lighting, is the usual line-up of cowboy, construction worker, Native American (or Red Indian as Roger would call him), biker (or f**king rocker as Roger would call him), GI and the one who isnât anything in particular. However, despite his fears of maybe being âconvertedâ I donât think Rog had too much to worry about, as Iâm led to understand that only one of them was actually gay. Which presumably meant that the other five always faced him when he was around.
Itâs a relatively swift bit of footage, presumably as one of the co-presenters is threatening to kick off and go on a swirling mic rampage. So we only really get the first verse, first chorus, second verse and then canned applause and rolling text at the start of the second chorus. Which is a good thing as YMCA it is not. A very slight song and one which must have been sitting around on the shelf during their heyday of 1979 before having to finally get it out because of the smell.
You Gotta Be A Hustler If You Want To Get On - Sue Wilkinson
Back to a solo Daltrey (but not doing Free Me) who seems to have come to some sort of acceptance that the Clash arenât on, but acknowledges that there are some lovely birds on the show. Some real over-compensating following on from the Village People there. Before he starts talking about the match last night, itâs over to one of those lovely birds.
As itâs a relatively minimal tune, itâs a relatively minimal stage set up. Except for the full drum kit of which only the hi-hat gets occasional use. I bet the stage hand who helped put that up was absolutely fuming. Sue is in a blue onesey sort of thing with clouds on it, and looking very much like the sort of blow-wave blonde who would have appeared in adverts for Penthouse. Not that Sue was ever in that world. And not that Iâve ever seen any adverts for Penthouse. The keyboard player appears to be Sir Brian Enovile OBE and the drummer (or bloke sitting at an unused drum kit) is, well, weâll find out who he is in a while.
I do remember this well from the time as it did get a lot of airplay. It sounded as quirky then as it does now. In between the manâs man mutterings from Daltrey in the intro, he did mention that it was a cleaned up version of the song. Although he didnât expand on that, the story goes that it was originally Scrubber not Hustler. And the lyrics were a little more risquĂ© in relation to that title. So, although a more innocent portrayal for the pre-watershedders, you do get the idea of what Sue is referring to in the lyrics. I suspect âmen will always crave a cunning flirtâ may not have been the original line.
This would be Sueâs only hit but not only TOTP appearance as sheâs back with a new one in a couple of weekâs time. So I will explore the enigma that is Sue Wilkinson then. If I have any more to explore.
Back to Vance at the Junior Question Time studio and he has turned to the girl next to him. Who is actually the girl originally next to the Glaswegian who has now left to get some more understanding on how arrows work. He asks her if she will take Sueâs advice - âno, donât think soâ, then suggests she really listen to the song as the lyrics are really clever (which renders the previous question somewhat superfluous), asks her if she recognised the drummer - âno, I didnâtâ, Don Powell from Slade - (internal monologue) âeh? who?â and concludes that he probably can now satisfy her, by bringing on the top 10. Thank heavens it wasnât another DJ (or at least a couple) doing that bit. Next to Tommyâs interrogatee is a wavey blonde bloke with possibly too large shirt collars for 1980 who looks like heâs going to be ready for whatever Tommy throws at him as obviously is going to be next. Spoiler, he isnât.
10) Funkinâ For Jamaica (NY) - Tom Browne
Clip of last weekâs Legs & Co Ann Summers extravaganza
9) Use It Up And Wear It Out - Odyssey
More mileage (or yardage) from the pilot as Legs & Co minus Sue shake their shoulders
8) More Than I Can Say - Leo Sayer
Clip of Legs & C⊠oh itâs the beach themed video again
7) Give Me The Night - George Benson
Same clip as last week, three George Bensons with one disapproving Elton John off camera
6) Oops Upside Your Head - Gap Band
The stage show âvideoâ as previously seen, with Village People waiting in the wings
5) Oh Yeah (On The Radio) - Roxy Music
Actually doing this instead of Over You. Hallelujah
4) Ashes To Ashes - David Bowie
âThatâs Bowie (pronounced bale-wee) Powerâ says Vance of its appearance from absolutely nowhere to number 4. And presumably why weâve had three views of the video today
3) 9 To 5 - Sheena Easton
Last weekâs TOTP clip with threatening balloon just looming into camera
2) Upside Down - Diana Ross
Clip from that travesty of a promo video
Although we do get a still of the top spot band and its position, we donât go straight to the video as we did last week. This time we return to Vance with the same kids as before, including the girl whoâs all quizzed out. Blonde collars guy looks to be limbering up to be questioned on all things Abba, but his moment is slipping away all the time, as thereâs no messing. The number one has to be introduced. And Tommy damn well does so.
The Winner Takes It All - Abba
As to be expected itâs the same video as before, although because of the brief drop-in on Tommy Kilroy-Vance first, we miss out most of the intro and the monochrome still shots of Abba beforehand.
Iâve pretty much covered this one last week. We all know it and most of us will remember the video so thereâs nothing more to say. A sublime record, but released at the wrong stage of Abbaâs career. The next year they release a single called One Of Us, which mines a similar theme to Winner, but is not quite as dripping with emotion. Ideally that should have been the single released now and then Winner being the curtain call, instead of the forgettable Under Attack which basically was. I donât count Thank You For The Music as that was an older song.
This appearance does get cut a bit short compared to last week, so perhaps the ides of falling sales have already spoken. We will still get clips of it as it journeys its way down the top 10 in the next couple of weeks. But the new king is already waiting to take over. And heâs a clown.
Upside Down - Diana Ross (credits)
Itâs back to Vance and the McVicar himself for one last time. As ever Tommy is seated, but Daltrey is actually lying on his back with his knees up, while resting his head on an audience memberâs lap. Obviously he checked first to make sure it wasnât a bloke he was laying on. Next to that lucky lady is the earlier quiz contestant who gets to smell Rogâs socks and trainers. Thatâs what happens when you donât know your Slade members. Vance tells Rog to wake up and be mini-interviewed about the Whoâs forthcoming tour plans, but Roger just wants to know where the Clash are. Quite why Rog kept on this Clash trip throughout I havenât a clue, but on the assumption he was aware that they just didnât do TOTP, perhaps he thought it would be a wheeze to keep mentioning them to see the reaction. Tommy just ignored it, and I imagine like Elton, Roger also hasnât passed the audition. Perhaps the pair of them can get out there and do some disco culling.
Which leads us to Diana Rossâs playout. As the videoâs rubbish, the songâs probably better served being accompanied by credits and the audience grooving away. For about half a minute the crowd noises are still audible until they are faded away to throw the spotlight solely on Di. A change from last week is that there are now multiple camera angles of the playout fest instead of the one fixed overheard camera. One of the cameramen goes even further by actually inverting the camera at one point. He knows the song.
Oh, and Rogerâs last words? âI should be so luckyâ. Watch your back, Kylie.
So this is the tricky one. For the first time Iâm going head to head with the Chart Music podcast as they covered this show in their episode 5 (âWatch Yer Backsâ). So, Iâm going to have to do my best to not nick any rye observations that they have made, and avoid quoting them (even with full credit) as I want to try and put my own spin on things. There will be some observations that we share, but thatâs going to be unavoidable and it will have to be accepted that I will have thought some same things independently as if the podcast never existed. Iâm all about the honesty.
Before I get going, I do want to take the opportunity to get one reference of theirs out of the way which I did enjoy, and then itâs all my own work after that. When they were talking about Mike Berry, Taylor made the observation that he looked like one of CI5 that wasnât Bodie or Doyle. And Al then chipped in that he would be the one who died that episode, having earlier had a brief conversation with B & D about wanting to get out of CI5 and then getting taken out by a Greek terrorist. I like the sort of amalgam of Steve Alder, Peter Blake in âEverest Was Also Conqueredâ and Philip Martin Brown in âNo Stoneâ that that discussion suggested! Right, Chart Music, I canât hear you (fingers in ears going âla la la laâ).
So introducing us to the proceedings is Tommy Vance, in a grey sweatshirt with a sort of loosely splashed on red and yellow stripe effect, and as the camera zooms out, we then encounter the am side of the pro-am presenting double act. Leather jacketed Roger Daltrey. Or as Vance calls him, the McVicar himself. I donât actually know what that makes John McVicar, but presumably when it comes to being a McVicar heâs obviously a poor second to Daltrey. Vance points out that McVicar is looking a bit miserable, and the reasoning behind this is that he has come all the way to see the Clash and theyâre not on. By way of consolation, Vance then takes us through who we do have on tonight. So, to the backing of Whole Lotta LoveâŠ
Abba - the four of them pre-Agnetha heartbreak walking around a harbour looking smiley
David Bowie - Pierrot under a dark black sky (bit like the one outside as Iâm typing this!)
ELO - a clip of the L&Co routine a little later, dancing to âall ofâ ELOâs music according to Vance - thatâs going to be a long routine
Mike Berry - clip of the later studio performance
Grace Jones - not the TOTP clip we see later, but a somewhat more animated Grace done up like a tiger and jigging about in front of a roller shutter door
Village People - clip of the stage show weâll see later. âAs usual, canât stop the musicâ says Vance - I think we know his leanings when it comes to popular music
Sue Wilkinson - clip of the later studio performance
Sleepwalk - Ultravox
Vance introduces us to a band that a lot of people thought had finished as their lead singer had left. And their guitarist, Tommy. But having got a clever Scottish lad in by the name of Midge Ure, theyâre back and in the charts. So already up on the deal compared to the previous incarnation.
When this started getting radio play in the summer of 1980, I had absolutely no idea who this Ultrabox was (I canât decide if that was DJâs intonation or dodgy radio), so if Iâd paid attention to what Tommy was saying at the intro, it would have meant nothing to me (pun not intended originally, but sod it, letâs intend it). I had already become aware of John Foxx due to Underpass earlier this year, which I did like a lot, but just thought he was a bit of an embarrassing Numan wannabe. Little did I know then that it was him who was the inspiration for Numan in the first place. And I certainly had no idea that this seemingly new band was where heâd started. Well, Tiger Lily if weâre going to be pedantic, but it was the same band who became Ultravox! (their exclamation mark, not mine, later nicked by Wham). And I had no idea that the lead singer on this was the singer in the 70s Bay City Rollers stunt doubles, Slik, that I vaguely remembered from 70s TOTPs. Nor that I would have already seen one of the keyboard players in Gary Numanâs band the year before. I mean itâs just such a rabbit hole the whole Numan/Foxx/Ure/Ultravox ism and schism can take you down, itâll take me longer to get through then Legs & Co dancing to the entire back catalogue of ELO, so Iâll stop there.
It is tempting to suggest that visually this is very much a first indication that a new more futurist decade is upon us, as we have three of the four piece band on synths, plus a drummer. However, weâd already seen this very formation in 1977 when Space did Magic Fly. Only difference was that it was an instrumental and they were all wearing space helmets. And none of them sporting an undone green bow tie. Obviously the main focus is on Midge, but Billy Currie very much doing his best to inject a bit of Liquid Gold drummer pizzazz into the proceedings by giving his ARP Odyssey a damn good bumping and grinding seeing to. Unfortunately for him, his most elaborate showmanship coincides with an overlay of Warren Cann on the drums. Visible in the background throughout is Daltrey, looking like he might have initially decided this was c**p before remembering that the Who did use synths a lot as well and just taps his feet to it.
This was the lead single off the first Midge-era album Vienna. Iâm a big fan of Ultravox and I think the albumâs great, but for me this has always been one of the weakest tracks on it. I suppose itâs probably one of the most single-like of the albumâs listing (yes even more than the title track) hence its release, but Iâve generally found it a little unexciting. The follow-up, Passing Strangers, was probably even more single-like but didnât do anywhere enough to make the TOTP cut (they werenât Lena Zavaroni) and we wouldnât see them again until early 81 when they released their difficult third single from the album.
Ashes To Ashes - David Bowie
âNot a guitar in sightâ says an obviously disapproving Vance who outros âMidge Ureâ, before remembering that there is a band heâs in now. Poor old Currie, Cross and Cann, always the backing band, never the shared limelight. He then turns to Daltrey to conduct a mini-interview on the Whoâs recent US tour which is possibly more of a through the hands watch than Mike Martin doing his âtonight Matthew, Iâm going to beâ stint as Leo Sayer. I donât know if Daltrey is generally a terrible interviewee or if he really had naively turned up just to see the Clash, because his committal to it couldnât be more non. Vance then asks a question that heâs always wanted to ask Daltrey. Yes, as soon as the Who pitched up with I Canât Explain (a seemingly apt title for Daltreyâs approach to interviews), the young(er) Thomas Vance made it his lifeâs ambition to corner the vocalist and get his handle on who his favourite singer is. Daltreyâs response was that it would be easier to name the singers he doesnât like. This list is not given, but I reckon the low volume backing accompaniment of George Benson throughout this slot might give us a clue to whoâd be on it. Of course itâs all a set-up to bring on the next item. One of the guvânors according to Rog.
Iâm sure we all remember this video. David Bowie in Pierrot doll get-up on a pink beach with black sky, alternating with David Bowie in his civvies sitting in a padded cell, although given the luxury of a chair and not in a strait jacket. Whether he ended up writing âKill Numanâ many times on the padded walls while twitching and laughing manically at the camera is a secret only for the cutting room floor. Thereâs also a brief bit of him in an exploding kitchen. No Jona Lewie though.
There is a reasonably strong case to be made that this video was the starting point for 1981 and beyond. Not only is Bowieâs clown attire very much the same nonsense that happening people would be wearing on their nights out, but one of the four characters (and bulldozer) following him around on that beach was one Steve Strange. The story of how he got to be in the video is an oft repeated one, and will be told in a New Romantic documentary probably starting on Sky Arts in about 10 minutes time. It will usually have Boy George bitching on about it as well.
Itâs going to be at number one for a couple of weeks, so Iâll wrag on more about the video and the song itself the next time.
All Over The World - Electric Light Orchestra
Say what you like about Roger Daltrey, but he does go the slightly extra mile to what Elton did last week, by actually doing a bit of solo presenting. But Elton would more than likely had not suggested that the bleep machine go to work on what he thought of Legs & Co. Bless Rog, he is just so testosterone. I wonder if Eltonâs on his list.
So, yes indeed here are the Legs and looking absolutely bleep, with Rosie in particular looking especially bleepable. Theyâre basically positioned on separate podiums semi-circling a model of the world, which may or may not be the same one dragged out of storage several months later for Duran Duranâs debut appearance with Planet Earth. Theyâre all dressed in costumes appropriating to countries (and landmarks) of the world. So from what I can deduce, Sueâs a sort of Bavarian cowgirl, Pattiâs done up as an Oriental with chopsticks in her hair, Gillâs Auntie Sam, Pauline is either Hawaiian or Polynesian or something, Lulu, like her namesake, is Scottish and Iâve no idea what Rosie is supposed to be. Sexy Statue of Liberty I think. Anyway, theyâre doing an excellent job of keeping within their podiums as there is a bit of a drop should it go wrong. That Flick can be an evil taskmistress sometimes.
After their hook up with Liv to make the longest named duo in the world (or indeed all over it), theyâre back to going their own way and a much better track than the number one as far as Iâm concerned. Also from the Xanadu film, but having never seen it, Iâve no idea at what stage it appears or what it is soundtracking. But a great song and with a really good chord progression during the chorus which just lifts it. It does get a bit Dancing In The Street with the list of place names towards the end, none of which are probably referenced by L&Coâs costumes.
Sunshine Of Your Smile - Mike Berry
As Rog has presumably sloped off to the L&Co dressing room minus any bleep machine, Tommy takes the mic for this one and introduces us to this 1913 song. Mike looks pretty good on it I must say.
And on the stage here is. He looks like heâd be one of CI5 who isnât Bodie or
Interjection by Taylor Parks and Al Needham
Oi!
Oi!
Apologies.
Actually who he does remind me a little of is mid-70s came and went singer Berni Flint. But without the moustache. I remember this very well, as my mum had to convince me this was the same bloke who played the dad in Worzel Gummidge as he looked absolutely nothing like this smooth operator charming the grannies. Unfortunately, apart from the more fruity words that footballers may utter, I have no power of lip reading so I cannot work out what Mike mouths to someone in the audience after he has finished the fourth line. Hopefully not along the lines of what Roger said just prior to being slapped by Gill.
I believe Mike did have a sort of early â60s pop career until he went into acting, and I presume partly on the strength of his role in Worzel he decided to get himself back in the recording studio. With Chas Hodges on production I think, and unless Mikeâs double tracked, I wouldnât be surprised if itâs Chas himself on the backing vox.
I donât really know what to think of this one. Itâs quite a pleasant little song and Mike sings it well, but is there really a place for it in the charts and on TOTP at this time? Well, maybe. Thereâs always going to be bilge of some sort as we go, however great I may think this coming era is, and it might as well be something like this that isnât absolutely terrible and doesnât overstay its welcome to any great degree. Itâs not the Goombay Dance Band after all.
I do know one thing though. The TOTP Orchestra would have been all over this if they hadnât been binned.
So itâs back to Tommy, who seems to be spending his entire on-camera time sitting, and heâs with some equally seated kids, who all look like theyâre waiting for the boom mic to come over on Junior Question Time. Having established that the girl he is sitting next to is from Glasgow (presumably not a lucky guess) he then explains to her how arrow directions work, as itâs going to be a great help with the charts which are coming next. The run-down is actually from 30 to 11 instead of 21 this week, which is bad news for Tommy as although he might smugly know how arrows work, he canât actually get his head round timing the entry listings to match the pictures, or even say some of them correctly. At the end of his ordeal, Tommy hands us over to camera 3 and Roger.
Private Life - Grace Jones
âHe does go on!â says Rog. Not sure if referring to Vance, Pete Townshend at the last recording session or the Legs & Co minder. As heâs not a professional TOTP presenter, he can be forgiven for his somewhat stilted intro to the next item, as the donut who thought up the idea of guest presenters canât be. And sadly doesnât swing his mic as he looked very much like he would do.
But there may be good reason for Daltreyâs stammering. Because even a fully bleep machined approach to Grace is never going to be up there as a particularly great idea. She is one intimidating lady. I suppose this appearance could also be considered as the dawning of the new age. Black female singers had always been relatively smiley, with nice feminine attire and flowing or curly locks. Until now, theyâd never stood motionless in black with a shaved sides flat top and a never smoked fag on the go tucked behind.
I must have seen this episode at the time, because I remember well this debut appearance of Grace who Iâd never been aware of previously. But I had previously been aware of the Pretenders original as despite only being an album track did get the odd airplay. For the purposes of this, I did give it a listen again and was surprised how much like the Jones cover it actually was, aside from an additional overlaid vocal line in the chorus and a more singing-like version of the somewhat awkwardly scanned verses.
So in the great Hynde vs Jones debate that has probably been raging, somewhere, I am going to have to stay on the fence as I love both versions of this song. Iâm hoping that neither lady will actually push me off it, as I imagine it wonât be a playful shove.
Canât Stop The Music - Village People
Itâs back to Tommy and, er, Tommy (deaf, dumb, blind and totally heterosexual) who are both sitting and Vance describes Grace as cool as both poles on our planet and then appropriately goes into frozen mode as he tries to finish his spiel. Meanwhile Daltrey thousand yard stares towards the distance before stating that Jones is a âbad ladyâ. I suspect that Rog has decided he might have a challenge lined up. However whatever erotic thoughts he might have been harbouring are wiped away as soon as Vance asks him if he likes disco. Elton last week said he tried to kill it, Rog looks like he wants to maim, torture and starve it before the execution. Vance says itâs a shame because here come the Village People, to which Rog then utters his now immortal line which presumably has always been missed out on the BBC4 repeats: âDonât bend down for the soapâ. Or was that a line in McVicar?
Anyway, this nostalgic âdifferent timesâ intro leads us into footage of the Villagers strutting about on an NTSC-soaked stage. Iâm guessing itâs from the film of the same name, and as Iâve seen the film as much as I have Xanadu then it will have to remain a guess. So on the stage in front of a large neon VILLAGE PEOPLE sign and some laser type lighting, is the usual line-up of cowboy, construction worker, Native American (or Red Indian as Roger would call him), biker (or f**king rocker as Roger would call him), GI and the one who isnât anything in particular. However, despite his fears of maybe being âconvertedâ I donât think Rog had too much to worry about, as Iâm led to understand that only one of them was actually gay. Which presumably meant that the other five always faced him when he was around.
Itâs a relatively swift bit of footage, presumably as one of the co-presenters is threatening to kick off and go on a swirling mic rampage. So we only really get the first verse, first chorus, second verse and then canned applause and rolling text at the start of the second chorus. Which is a good thing as YMCA it is not. A very slight song and one which must have been sitting around on the shelf during their heyday of 1979 before having to finally get it out because of the smell.
You Gotta Be A Hustler If You Want To Get On - Sue Wilkinson
Back to a solo Daltrey (but not doing Free Me) who seems to have come to some sort of acceptance that the Clash arenât on, but acknowledges that there are some lovely birds on the show. Some real over-compensating following on from the Village People there. Before he starts talking about the match last night, itâs over to one of those lovely birds.
As itâs a relatively minimal tune, itâs a relatively minimal stage set up. Except for the full drum kit of which only the hi-hat gets occasional use. I bet the stage hand who helped put that up was absolutely fuming. Sue is in a blue onesey sort of thing with clouds on it, and looking very much like the sort of blow-wave blonde who would have appeared in adverts for Penthouse. Not that Sue was ever in that world. And not that Iâve ever seen any adverts for Penthouse. The keyboard player appears to be Sir Brian Enovile OBE and the drummer (or bloke sitting at an unused drum kit) is, well, weâll find out who he is in a while.
I do remember this well from the time as it did get a lot of airplay. It sounded as quirky then as it does now. In between the manâs man mutterings from Daltrey in the intro, he did mention that it was a cleaned up version of the song. Although he didnât expand on that, the story goes that it was originally Scrubber not Hustler. And the lyrics were a little more risquĂ© in relation to that title. So, although a more innocent portrayal for the pre-watershedders, you do get the idea of what Sue is referring to in the lyrics. I suspect âmen will always crave a cunning flirtâ may not have been the original line.
This would be Sueâs only hit but not only TOTP appearance as sheâs back with a new one in a couple of weekâs time. So I will explore the enigma that is Sue Wilkinson then. If I have any more to explore.
Back to Vance at the Junior Question Time studio and he has turned to the girl next to him. Who is actually the girl originally next to the Glaswegian who has now left to get some more understanding on how arrows work. He asks her if she will take Sueâs advice - âno, donât think soâ, then suggests she really listen to the song as the lyrics are really clever (which renders the previous question somewhat superfluous), asks her if she recognised the drummer - âno, I didnâtâ, Don Powell from Slade - (internal monologue) âeh? who?â and concludes that he probably can now satisfy her, by bringing on the top 10. Thank heavens it wasnât another DJ (or at least a couple) doing that bit. Next to Tommyâs interrogatee is a wavey blonde bloke with possibly too large shirt collars for 1980 who looks like heâs going to be ready for whatever Tommy throws at him as obviously is going to be next. Spoiler, he isnât.
10) Funkinâ For Jamaica (NY) - Tom Browne
Clip of last weekâs Legs & Co Ann Summers extravaganza
9) Use It Up And Wear It Out - Odyssey
More mileage (or yardage) from the pilot as Legs & Co minus Sue shake their shoulders
8) More Than I Can Say - Leo Sayer
Clip of Legs & C⊠oh itâs the beach themed video again
7) Give Me The Night - George Benson
Same clip as last week, three George Bensons with one disapproving Elton John off camera
6) Oops Upside Your Head - Gap Band
The stage show âvideoâ as previously seen, with Village People waiting in the wings
5) Oh Yeah (On The Radio) - Roxy Music
Actually doing this instead of Over You. Hallelujah
4) Ashes To Ashes - David Bowie
âThatâs Bowie (pronounced bale-wee) Powerâ says Vance of its appearance from absolutely nowhere to number 4. And presumably why weâve had three views of the video today
3) 9 To 5 - Sheena Easton
Last weekâs TOTP clip with threatening balloon just looming into camera
2) Upside Down - Diana Ross
Clip from that travesty of a promo video
Although we do get a still of the top spot band and its position, we donât go straight to the video as we did last week. This time we return to Vance with the same kids as before, including the girl whoâs all quizzed out. Blonde collars guy looks to be limbering up to be questioned on all things Abba, but his moment is slipping away all the time, as thereâs no messing. The number one has to be introduced. And Tommy damn well does so.
The Winner Takes It All - Abba
As to be expected itâs the same video as before, although because of the brief drop-in on Tommy Kilroy-Vance first, we miss out most of the intro and the monochrome still shots of Abba beforehand.
Iâve pretty much covered this one last week. We all know it and most of us will remember the video so thereâs nothing more to say. A sublime record, but released at the wrong stage of Abbaâs career. The next year they release a single called One Of Us, which mines a similar theme to Winner, but is not quite as dripping with emotion. Ideally that should have been the single released now and then Winner being the curtain call, instead of the forgettable Under Attack which basically was. I donât count Thank You For The Music as that was an older song.
This appearance does get cut a bit short compared to last week, so perhaps the ides of falling sales have already spoken. We will still get clips of it as it journeys its way down the top 10 in the next couple of weeks. But the new king is already waiting to take over. And heâs a clown.
Upside Down - Diana Ross (credits)
Itâs back to Vance and the McVicar himself for one last time. As ever Tommy is seated, but Daltrey is actually lying on his back with his knees up, while resting his head on an audience memberâs lap. Obviously he checked first to make sure it wasnât a bloke he was laying on. Next to that lucky lady is the earlier quiz contestant who gets to smell Rogâs socks and trainers. Thatâs what happens when you donât know your Slade members. Vance tells Rog to wake up and be mini-interviewed about the Whoâs forthcoming tour plans, but Roger just wants to know where the Clash are. Quite why Rog kept on this Clash trip throughout I havenât a clue, but on the assumption he was aware that they just didnât do TOTP, perhaps he thought it would be a wheeze to keep mentioning them to see the reaction. Tommy just ignored it, and I imagine like Elton, Roger also hasnât passed the audition. Perhaps the pair of them can get out there and do some disco culling.
Which leads us to Diana Rossâs playout. As the videoâs rubbish, the songâs probably better served being accompanied by credits and the audience grooving away. For about half a minute the crowd noises are still audible until they are faded away to throw the spotlight solely on Di. A change from last week is that there are now multiple camera angles of the playout fest instead of the one fixed overheard camera. One of the cameramen goes even further by actually inverting the camera at one point. He knows the song.
Oh, and Rogerâs last words? âI should be so luckyâ. Watch your back, Kylie.