Nightfly
Screenwriter
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Post by Nightfly on Sept 24, 2021 10:19:15 GMT
Just to pass a few minutes on a damp and dreary autumn Friday morning... Some TV series' have the odd "dud" show, but I thought I might dream up a few of my own:-
The Sweeney - "A Quiet Week" - Reagan and Carter experience a slump in armed robberies when they realise most of the banks on their patch have either closed and gone online only, or have been turned into trendy wine bars.
Scooby Doo - "Thwarted" - The evil plotter abandons his evil plan when he realises the pesky kids are nearby and he won't be able "to have gotten away with it".
Dr Who - "Taunting The Daleks" - After humiliating one of the Daleks by saying, "Hey, aren't you the guy who voices Zippy in Rainbow?", the Doctor foils their attempted attack by walking upstairs to the next floor.
Frankenstein - "The Energy Crisis" - Victor Frankenstein's monster has to go into storage when he finds that the small electricity company he uses has gone bust and OFGEM has moved him to a company with a prohibitive tariff.
Bergerac - "The Pursuit" - Jim Bergerac abandons chasing a stolen car in Jersey when he realises he can just pull into a lay-by and wait for the stolen car to come round again.
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Sparky
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Post by Sparky on Sept 24, 2021 13:08:02 GMT
"Daily Press Briefing" - Zippy, Bungle and George attempt to tell people to stop at home, wash their hands and present meaningless graphs & charts drawn by Cosgrove Hall in Felt tip pen. Also features Rod, Jane and Freddie singing "Stuck in the Middle with You"
"Rainbow" - Boris, Matt and Dominic (Raab) dress up and pretend to be credible MPs.
"Daily Mail Press Briefing" - Scare, Scare, Worry, Panic, Gloom, Doom, Scare, Scare, Scare, Arrrrggh! (not for children)
*Film" "Harry Potter and the Philosphers Drone" - Epic adaptation of JK Rowlings book, shot entirely from 500ft using a low quality drone.
"Auf Wiedersehen.... Pet" - Tabby Cat, Max is run over by a No 43 bus.
"Special Branch" - This week, the Oak Tree.
"The Bill" - This month - Water.
"The Comedians" - This weeks line up includes Conservative, Labour and Liberal Democrat representatives.
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Cartman
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Post by Cartman on Sept 24, 2021 13:43:11 GMT
A J K Rowling adaptation featuring, instead of Harry, Brian Potter, of the Phoenix Club.
Lord of The Rings, where Saurons tower gets knocked down by Fred Dibnah (see Jimll Paint it!)
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Sparky
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Post by Sparky on Sept 24, 2021 14:38:38 GMT
"On the Buses" - Hijinks galore when services are restricted and an emergency timetable is introduced. Jack is worried about his job and suspicious over the First Group takeover which will bring the possibility of doing away with a ticket collector and forcing everyone to buy tickets before they travel. Stan gets excited over the introduction of the new ADL Enviro400EV electric double decker, comments on how green it is and then lights up a fag for good measure.
"Only Poole in Dorset" - Spin off from respected BBC Sit-com Only Fools and Horses.
"Armchair Theatre" - Classic plays adapted for TV and performed by a fat bloke in a sweaty vest sat in an armchair.
"Chips" - US Series - Two Uber Motorcyclists race to deliver their takeaways - before they go cold.
"Mastermind" - live coverage from the UK championships of the 70s board game stuck in every sideboard in the country.
"Who's Baby..." - With Bernie Winters. This week special guest - Prince Harry
"Thomas the Tank Engine" - Thomas's line is privatised, the Fat Controller considers making all trains one man operation.
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Cartman
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Post by Cartman on Sept 24, 2021 15:03:58 GMT
Thomas the Tanked up engine, where he's always down the pub
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Post by Sam Tyler on Sept 24, 2021 17:03:46 GMT
"Chucklevision" - Brothers Paul and Barry Chuckle are fully up to date with all their work and their manager step-brother walks out of his office to congratulate them for not slacking.
"The Basil Brush Show" - The nearby fox hunt has got too close for comfort so Basil goes into hiding in his den leaving Mr Rodney to reminisce about his days filming with James Bolam.
"The Boys From The Blackstuff" - Yosser Hughes is gainfully employed stacking shelves in Fine Fare and his kids are studying hard in school.
"Bob The Builder" - Bob's planning application for an extension has been rejected so Scoop, Muck and Dizzy sit bored in the yard while he goes round to Wendy's place to slip her a portion.
Sam.
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Nightfly
Screenwriter
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Post by Nightfly on Sept 24, 2021 17:11:51 GMT
Flog It - Paul Martin visits the homes of Cynthia Payne and Mandy Rice-Davies and helps them to auction off some of their old "work gear" from their attics.
Reality Grand Designs - Kevin McCloud explains how easy it is to buy land, build and design your own luxury home if you are a rich architect with shares in a building company.
Mr Benn - Trouble for our hero this week when the shopkeeper realises that Mr Benn has spent years taking clothes from his shop without paying and issues a court summons.
Doc Detective Martin Manhunt Stalker - Martin Clunes takes the lead role again as a senior detective and GP in another series where his wife is Executive Producer.
Waking The Silent Witness - Trevor Eve returns in a new series as a Detective Superintendent brought in for the results he gets by shouting all of his lines aggressively to his underlings whilst they perform autopsies.
Eldorado Revisited - Drew Lockhead and his family return to Los Barcos to find it deserted as most of the residents didn't complete their Spanish residency applications in time last year.
Houseparty - The ladies from the popular 70s daytime series from Southern Television return for a one off edition where they discuss climate issues, gender dysphoria and Daphne's secret recipe for lemon cheesecake.
Celebrity Gogglebox 4:3tv Forum Members Edition - This week's show features celebrities famous in the 70s and 80s we can actually recognise as opposed to reality show Z-listers.
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Sparky
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Post by Sparky on Sept 24, 2021 17:49:38 GMT
Gash in the Attic - David Dickinson trawls through top shelf 'Adult Art' magazines found hidden behind the water tank in loft spaces around the country on the look out for the "imported stuff" - cheap as chips.
Hash in the Attic - David Dickinson, supported by the Drugs Squad provide an early wake up call for those with an interest in Loft space Gardening.
DIY S.O.S - Here we go again! Swedish pop outfit Abba, have 24 hours to completely rebuild a 2 bedroom terraced house in Grimesthorpe.
George Orwells - Emmerdale Farm - Napoloeon the Berkshire Boar leads a deputation, taking over the Woolpack, where he and some pigs decide that working for humans isn't doing them any favours and decide that structuring their own society is the best way forward. Also Dolly tells Jack that he's the son of Amos first removed cousin and that she ran off with the bloke who empties the farm cess pit in 1978.
On the Omnibuses - Omnibus (get it?) of last weeks episodes.
Open University - Closed due to lock down.
For Schools & Colleges - We'll it's better than This Morning.
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Post by Gene Hunt on Sept 24, 2021 18:04:10 GMT
Gash in the Attic - David Dickinson trawls through top shelf 'Adult Art' magazines found hidden behind the water tank in loft spaces around the country on the look out for the "imported stuff" - cheap as chips.
That'd be worth a watch. Though I think perhaps a change of host from old orange gob. James Buckley perhaps? Or me even! Gene.
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Cartman
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Post by Cartman on Sept 24, 2021 18:14:04 GMT
An idea, sadly impossible as John Thaw is no longer with us, would be a case from the 70s reopened due to alleged miscarriage of justice and Jack was traced and had to give evidence.
It would pan out that what he had done at the time was, in fact, all good and he was vindicated, as he said in Visiting Fireman. His character would now be 84, as he was supposed to have been 38 when The Sweeney started in 75.
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